Numbered

“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will travel to such and such a city and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.” You don’t even know what tomorrow will bring—what your life will be! For you are like smoke that appears for a little while then vanishes.” – James 4:13-14

It was nearly dusk. Everything was set in the house for him. She gave him a hug and told him she loved him and promised to come check on him in the next couple of days. As she drove away, he stood on the porch waving, a solitary figure in the approaching night.

And that was the last time I saw my father alive. What if I knew when I left that it would be the last time I saw him? What would I have done differently? What should I have done differently?

As I ponder these things, the best I can come up with is…I don’t know. But I cling to the fact that I know that God is sovereign and I cling to this verse, “Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.” – Psalm 139:16. God knows the number of our days before we are born. So if I had been there…could I have changed the outcome? I don’t think so. But, if I had been there…would there have been one last opportunity to share Jesus with him? I don’t know. Now my hope and my prayer is that he called on the name of Jesus in his final moments.

Through this dark time in my life, I am clinging to my Rock, my Shelter, my Refuge. He is sovereign and knows the beginning from the end. His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts higher than my thoughts. And, I am learning to take nothing for granted and make the most of every opportunity because our days are fleeting…like a vapor…a mist…a shadow.

“Teach us to number our days carefully so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts.” – Psalm 90:12

“Don’t boast about tomorrow, for you don’t know what a day might bring.” – Proverbs 27:1